Solo-Dad - 1 Guy's Perspective on Single Parenting

The Paralysis of Choice

Solo-Dad — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 20:45:13 +0000

Have you ever had a tough time making a choice?

I have and I’m sure you have as well. Making choices is something we do everyday, but there are times when making them is tough going.

I’m reading Buddhism Plain and Simple by Steve Hagen on my Amazon Kindle 2 and was struck by this quote about choice:

The Germans have an expression, “Whoever has choice, has torment.”

Hagen is making the broader point that choices represent the potential for further confusion, one of the possible means behind the Sanskrit word, ‘duhkha.’

Duhkah is the pain and suffering many reference works on Buddhism cite as how the Buddha described the human condition.

In reading this book, I was reminded of several experiences that underscored how choice often results in paralysis or difficulty in making a choice.

About 15 years ago I took my son, Jeremy shopping for new shoes. We went to a local mall and in each store we were confronted by an expansive wall of shoes. Every brand and every model was on display. Jeremy stood bewildered by the array of potential choices and we left each store empty handed. Faced with so many choices, he was unable to make a decision.

Choices in life, big or small, place us in direct confrontation with duhkah.

It isn’t easy making choices. But if we are to move forward in life, they simply must be made.

Here’s another example of how choice results in confusion from my own experience.

Anyone who knows me understands my fascination with coffee and mugs. I may own more books than coffee mugs, but it’s a close second. For some people, deciding which mug to use in the morning is a function of which one is in front. For me, it’s not so simple. Just as fine wine is best sampled from an appropriately shaped glass, my morning coffee deserves similar treatment. Sipping my Peets Arabian Mocha Blend from my Beatles mug tastes different than if it’s place in a Fiestaware mug. Drinking after-dinner coffee from a cup and sauce is preferable over any mug. Each morning I’m presented with a choice of which mug to use. I usually pause and select the one that feels right.

However, choice can be made easier by placing limits on the number of options. For instance, if I had taken Jeremy to a store that displayed only 10 styles of shoes, I have no doubt his choice would have been made and we’d have purchased the shoes that long ago afternoon.

If I were to have only three mugs available each morning, my choice of the appropriate mug would be streamlined.

The Argument for Fewer Choices

Living simply is a choice I made long ago. I own few things (as compare to some I know) and have been especially intrigued by minimalism for some time.

Leo Babauta’s 100 Things challenge of reducing things to own to 100 is something I’ve yet to try, but I’m drawn to it nonetheless.

This last photo illustrates how a fewer possessions can impart a calm energy to a single room.

One thing I can’t stand is clutter. Don’t get me wrong, my house contains some just like yours. But it’s on the run. Each week I reduce, recycle, and reuse more and more.

I try not to buy things that double an existing function. (Recently I recycled a perfectly good coffee pot because I only need one.)

Reducing choices creates a calmer environment and leads to less confrontation with duhkah. Of course, we’re human and we’re going to be confronted with human stuff as long as we breathe. But still, fewer possessions and simpler lifestyle creates a calmer environment.

Getting Past Paralysis

Some things to keep in mind that may help you combat the paralysis of choice:

Reduce Redundancies. If you have three iPods, consider giving one away. If you have 30 coffee mugs, see a therapist! Seriously, eliminate what you don’t really need. You’ll be happier.
Give Things Away. When you’ve selected those items that you really don’t need, consider giving them to someone who could use them. Sell them if you have a need to recover the cost of the items, but giving them away is a better option. You’ll feel so much better about it.
Enjoy Less, More Often. Really use what you do own. Use the one iPod. Use the one pen or pencil. Use the one camera. Each time you do, you’ll be reinforcing your need for less.

Initial Thoughts on My Amazon Kindle 2

Solo-Dad — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 19:56:47 +0000

Two Thumbs, Way Up!

I have to admit I was initially skeptical about the eReaders that began flooding the market a few years ago.

The first one I held and played with was Sony’s eReader. Then an acquaintance, (actually, Ex #1’s husband) got a Kindle and I saw it in action. The clarity was interesting but I still wasn’t sold.

Besides, he paid $350 for the first generation Kindle: too much for me.

Then came the Kindle 2, its redesigned exterior and some real improvements on the inside like a PDF viewer, a music player function, and better annotating tools (highlighting, underlining, inserting notes) and the lower price ($259). That sold me.

If you’re an iPod owner, the first thing you notice about it is its packaging: Sleek, well-planned, a definite anticipation builder. Then once you unwrap the iPod you hold it and are immediately impressed with it’s simplicity.

Amazon must have taken a lesson from Apple on that one because the Kindle 2’s packaging is no different. It’s impressive, simple, and green (in the environmental sense). The product itself is just as impressive, almost Zen-like in its appearance.

Holding the Kindle for the first time is like holding an iPod. I was afraid I’d drop it. But since I also ordered the leather (hardback like) cover for it, I inserted it into the cover and felt better about its ability to withstand a jolt.

The screen is not back-lit and though you might think it would be hard to read, it’s actually easier to read than a computer screen or an iPod Touch. Amazon calls this ‘Ink On Paper’ technology and I’ve tested it in the direct sunlight as well as in the shade and it makes no difference in my ability to read, focus, or enjoy the visual presentation of the display.

My Top 5 Likes…so far.

Whispernet delivery of eBooks. Silent and fast -a 300 page novel delivered in under 35 seconds via a 3G wireless network. And (this is a big advantage over the Sony eReader) I don’t have to shop with my computer or download the books to the laptop. I could, but why would I?
Intuitive Navigation. It does function just like a book. I thought I’d have difficulty adjusting but I haven’t. The ‘Next Page’ button is on the right side and the ‘Previous Page’ button is on the left. Lefties will appreciate the location of a second ‘Next Page’ button on the left as well.
Ease of Annotation. I love underlining and writing in the margins of my paper books. With the Kindle 2, I can do the same. Underline and even insert a note using the QWERTY keyboard on the unit.
Switching Books. It’s my practice to have 3-4 books going at once. I used to pack a couple of books in my briefcase to read at lunch or on planes depending on what I felt like that day. Now I can easily choose any one of my books simply by pressing the Home button. Each time I access a book I’m taken back to the page I last read whether or not I inserted a bookmark.
Native PDF Viewer. I have a lot of eBooks and I work with huge PDF documents that are sometimes bulky and inconvenient to carry on trips. By plugging into my laptop using the USB connection (that doubles as a battery charging device) I can load any number of PDFs on my Kindle 2 and they show up on the Home page TOC as a PDF. The only drawback to this is I can’t manipulate the font size on a PDF. A small inconvenience but it sure beats carrying a 3-inch binder containing a 900 page RFP on the plane with me.

My 1 Unofficial Like

The MP3 Player. I can also upload MP3 files and plug in my 3.5mm ear buds from my iPod. But that seems like overkill to me. Besides, I have iTunes on my laptop and the Kindle 2 won’t play ACC or other iTune formats. But if I wanted to read and listen to music, I could. But that doesn’t work for me. It distracts my uni-tasking mind. It doesn’t quite make the list of likes at this point.

Apple iPad is sure to provide some competition for the Kindle 2. It’s got a color display and it’s an Apple. The jury’s still out on that one for me.

But, so far I love my Kindle 2. Can you tell?

For more information on the Kindle 2, click here!

Finding the Balance Is Hard Work

Solo-Dad — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 16:57:32 +0000

Do you lead a balanced life?

I do not.

Well, let me rephrase that. I do when I work at it.

Most of the time, instead of living one, I tend to be seeking to live a balanced life.

Maybe leading a balanced life is like being enlightened – a moment-by-moment choice.

To me, a balance life is one that has equal portions of work, achievement, love, family, play, and personal growth. The unbalanced nature of my life seems to lately be dominated my a skew toward overwork and very little play.

Last night I posted this to my Facebook page…

All work and no play makes Barry very cranky.

And it’s true. I’ve been growing ever more cranky. It’s partly because I know things are out of balance right now.

True:

I exercise regularly by walking or jogging twice a day along the beach
I watch what I eat and more often do choose the healthy over the junky
I take my mass media consumption in small doses
I’m reading more since I got my Kindle 2 from Amazon

False:

I’m living in the moment
I’m meditating on a daily basis
I’m pursuing a spiritual path

So, there you have it. A life striving to be in balance, but somehow missing the mark.

The Parental Angle

As a single parent, I’m totally and completely responsible for guiding the social, spiritual, educational, and interpersonal development of LE.

With such little assistance in any of these areas from his mother, it’s up to me to provide guidance where it’s needed. And to be honest, sometimes…most of the time…I feel like I’m letting him down.

I get so wrapped in my own issues that I forget that he looks to me for counsel and whatever wisdom I may have assimilated in 52 years.

Hmm, I guess that’s something to meditate on tomorrow.

Prescriptions for Parents

In times like these, I often turn to ZenFamilyHabits for a better perspective and today I was not disappointed.

Check out this post on Parenting Tips, especially number three at the bottom. Good advice.

Note to Self: Just Be.

Stress: It’s How You Respond That Counts

Solo-Dad — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 04:49:52 +0000

When life gets chaotic, I can get caught up in the drama.

But the drama only leads to a higher blood pressure readings in my doctor’s office, the addition of yet more chemicals to my daily regimen.

Instead of additional chemicals, what I’d rather have happen is be able to handle my stress in a more healthy manner.

Hans Selye, the brilliant Hungarian stress researcher, defines stress as “our body’s response to environmental pressure.”

Ergo, if I respond with anger, it really isn’t the Ex that’s responsible for my rise in BP, rather it’s how I respond to the impossible situation that is to blame.

If I could respond to the stress in my life in a different manner, my blood pressure might not be such a problem. You think?

Of course, I know all the biological and pharmacological mechanisms that may also play a role is hypertension, but for the most part they are not within my control.

But finding a way to become more adept at handling stress is within my control. I could become quiet more, become aware of my breathing more, become still more.

Enter the insightful words of Leo Babauta of ZenHabits on how to practice becoming still.

How to Practice
Stillness, oddly, doesn’t come naturally to many people. So practice.

1. Start your day in stillness. Whether it’s sitting with a cup of coffee as the world awakes, or sitting on a pillow and focusing on your breath, stillness is a powerful way to start your day. It sets the tone for things to come. Even 5-10 minutes is great.

2. Take regular stillness breaks. Every hour, set an alarm on your computer or phone to go off. Think of it as a bell that rings, reminding you to be still for a minute. During this minute, focus first on your breathing, to bring yourself into the present. Let the worries of the world around you melt away — all that is left is your breath. And then let your focus expand beyond your breath to your other senses, one at a time.

3. When chaos roars, pause. In the middle of a crisis or a noisy day, stop. Be still. Take a deep breath, and focus on that breath coming in, and going out. Find your inner stillness and then let your next action come from that stillness. Focus on that next action only.

Life is stressful.

That’s a true statement because we’re human and we will respond to every bit of stimuli we encounter. Choosing a wiser response is always what separates the content from the miserable.

I’m beginning to see the wisdom in Leo’s words and making better choices in how I respond the stressors in my life is the beginning of a healthier, happier Solo-Dad.

Being Single – 7 Years In

Solo-Dad — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 17:22:13 +0000

I’ve been single for 7 years now.
Over the course of those years I’ve always said I would never consider getting married again.

And while this is NOT a reversal of that position, I believe I’m softening on the issue.I am near the point where I can view marriage as something positive. That hasn’t been part of my relationship-consciousness for nearly 15 years.

Because of my experiences with domestic violence – having been the victim of violent crime at the hands of a loved one – I have been somewhat jaded on the issue of marriage.

I’ve not been quiet on the issue either.

The Folly of Judgment
For years, I couldn’t see myself ever making another walk down the proverbial aisle. And for the reasons that were so closely related to my experiences with DV, there were valid reasons not to pursue dating.

Men make mistakes. Well, I guess women do as well. But we men are famous for them. We men are often lumped into a category and labeled as cheaters, liars, or emotionally unavailable.

But we are who we are. I am who I am. I am an honest, hard-working guy who has made mistakes just like every other person in the world. Why should I be judged by those who have never trod my path, receive the blows that injured me, or suffered through the dark nights that followed?

The Evolution of the Heart
I can see through the passage of time that some men are perhaps meant to live a solitary life without constant companionship. For 7 years -though I lived with one woman in the middle of those – I’ve not been in this camp. I’ve wanted the companionship of a woman who loved me and my son. I settled for less in the example above and the results were immediately evident.

Conversely, there are those men who need the companionship of another; Men who are adrift at sea without the certainty that an anchor provides. I am not in this camp either. An anchor can either weigh you down or provide stability and comfort depending on your perspective.

I still have no plans to get married. But I can say that I am beginning to miss the companionship of a loving relationship; one that is built on the solid foundation of mutual love and respect.

You might say that my heart is evolving. Everything evolves. To deny it is idiotic.

The Future Outlook
My solitary, ever-present goal remains to prepare LE for a successful launch into adulthood and then, perhaps, I can be available for the woman I dream of. Until then, I check homework, do the laundry, wash the dishes, clean the house, go to work, and try to sleep.

Will there come a day when I can walk into my home and be greeted by a kiss of love, an embrace of the heart, and look that says ‘I’m for you and you’re for me?’

I hope so.

Parenting a Teen: LE Grows Up…But Into What?

Solo-Dad — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 14:45:48 +0000

“LE’s really growing up, isn’t he?”

A former colleague and mastermind buddy emailed me a week or so ago. She’d seen this video and commented on LE’s vertical growth, his deepening voice, and his overall physical maturity.

“Yes,” I countered in a reply…”but into what?”

The Metamorphosis of Attitude

Along with the metamorphosis of physical attributes that accompanies the big ‘P,’ teens experience a new set of attitudes. Encouraged by raging hormone fluxes, these attitudes are often uncontrollable at first.

It’s as if they discover their innate sense of power and ability to express themselves. Of course, how they choose to express their emotions is as individual as each emotion.

But with three teens to my parenting credit, this last trip through Teen-land might be the most challenging of all.

When it Comes to Parenting Teens, Experience Means Nothing

Forget that I have helped co-parent three teens in the past ten years.
Forget that each are highly functioning young adults.
Forget that I’ve earned more degrees than 92.1% .of all Americans.
Forget that I’ve been through this minefield and lived to tell the tale.
Forget that I decided seven years ago to take this child and leave a household brimming with domestic violence in order to give him the chance he needed to live without fear.

It means nothing. At least where my innate teen-parenting skills are concerned.

Here’s An Example

It was 8:20a on the Sunday morning after Thanksgiving when I received the call from LE. He ‘demanded’ to know where I was.

“Buddy woke me up,” he says with emphasis on the ‘woke.’ “Where are you, anyway?”

He sounded like my father about 35 years ago.

“I’m down here at Deluxe Foods getting some coffee. I’ll be home in a few minutes.”

“OK, but Buddy was really barking, you know.”

Oh, OK. Let me drop what I’m doing to come home and silence the dog so you can continue to sleep into the afternoon!

That wasn’t really my response, but it did raise its hand in my consciousness seeking permission to express itself.

Back To Reality & to School

Of course not all days are like this. Since Christmas, and the advent of an X-Box 360, I’ve seen little of LE except at mealtimes. OK, I’m kidding. I seen when nature calls, too.

He’s been off from school for three weeks and returns on Tuesday to the world where everyone acts like he does. In a way, I’ll be glad he back in school. But it’s also been a good Winter Break for us as a family.

Despite the X-Box factor, we’ve spent a good deal of time together. My employer shut down for the week after Christmas and LE and I spent it together.

And even if he’s turning into a teenage mutant ninja something, he’s still the best thing in my life.

Goal Setting for 2010

Solo-Dad — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 19:02:33 +0000

Have you set any goals for 2010?

Back when I taught a Student Success college course, the first lecture was always dedicated to the importance of goal setting.

I could easily summarize that first lecture by stating three important points:

Limit yourself to three important goals to work on this year.
Work on only your first goal for 90 days before adding work on the second, ans so on.
Create an accountability system that keeps you on track.

Let’s flesh these out a bit more, shall we?

Limit Goals to Only Three. Why only three? Because any more than that and you’ll likely lose focus. Multitasking is a myth and trying to work on several goals at once is futile. I used to work on goals in several areas of life: personal, health, education, business, spiritual, etc. I’d choose one or two in each area to work on. But by year’s end, I’d be frustrated with my lack of progress in each area. By limiting yourself to only three goals total, your efforts are focused like a laser and your outcomes more fruitful.

The 90-Day Rule. Leo Babauta, legendary founder of the blogs Zen Habits, mnmlst, ZenFamilyHabits, and 6Changes urges us to begin slowly on starting new habits or instituting new changes in our lives. Why? To better focus our energy on making change permanent. I agree and urge my readers to work on one habit that supports reaching a goal for 90 days before introducing another. Focused action on a daily basis is the key to effecting any change.

Accountability Makes It Happen. This weekend LE and I went to see my parents for a belated holiday dinner with other family members as well. While we were there, I spoke to my brother-in-law about forming an accountability pact. We both have similar weight loss goals and could use the interactive encouragement that having an accountability partner can provide. When setting goals, it’s essential to not only write them down, but create accountability systems to help you achieve them. Going it alone rarely works.

My Three Goals for 2010

Having said the above about goal setting, here’s where the rubber meets the road in Solo-Dadville.

My three goals are located in three separate areas of my life. They are:

Business - Develop one of my blogs into a cash-generating entity that will become part of the Barry 2.0 effort to be economy independent within 3 years. This goal is one I’ve put off for far too long. I know how to do it. I have all I need to make it happen, I just haven’t done it. Now is the time.

Personal - Reach my goal weight of 185 pounds that will eliminate the need for BP Meds. I’ve lost 10 already by walking twice daily with Buddy. However, I’ve not really taken the goal seriously enough to make more healthy changes. This goal requires me to make lasting changes if I am to reach and maintain my target goal. That’s 40 pounds in twelve months or a net loss of 3.3 pounds per month. Sounds doable, right?

Spiritual – Meditate daily for inner peace and insight. This is a goal that will greatly effect the other two. I learned to meditate a few years ago in the Kriya Yoga tradition. And, when I practiced religiously (pardon that very bad pun ) I felt different, was more focused throughout the day, and was generally a much happier person.

http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/

Solo-Dad & Newton’s Apple

Solo-Dad — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 19:23:45 +0000

Single dads look for love.

But finding it isn’t always easy.

It’s been said that the harder you look for something, the more difficult it is to find. I believe that. Looking for love is often just this way.

We scurry from bar to bar, club to club, date to date and always wonder why we’re not finding the right person.

Single dads with half to full custody of their kids find it even more challenging.

Balancing time with children, work responsibilities, and time dedicated to personal improvement (physical and spiritual), and any responsibilities we might have to aging parents – like I said, it’s not always easy.

Sometimes Love Is Like an Apple

As Newton discovered, sometimes unexpected things drop into your life through unexpected mechanisms. So it is with love at times.

I’ve been quiet for a while as you may have noticed. I’ve been busy with a reorganization at my employer and adapting to the changing bosses and philosophies that accompany them.

Another reason for my silence is a budding relationship (that I’m not going to talk about in any detail). Let’s just say that it’s been a very long time since my heart was hooked like this.

Like Newton’s famed apple that dropped in front of him igniting his groundbreaking work on gravity, love has dropped into my life igniting a world of possibilities for me.

It’s wonderful to be in that state where you feel the world is your oyster and 16 wasn’t that long ago.

I decided a long time ago not to blog about current relationships and I’m not going to now. But I did feel that sharing my Newtonian moment was in order. Without the ability to foretell the future, I don’t know where it may lead.

But for now, it’s very cool, you know? 8-) Happy New Year!

Thanksgiving Flashback – A Year Ago on Solo-Dad

Solo-Dad — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 19:13:38 +0000

Last year, LE was with his mom on Thanksgiving Day.

In an effort to prove that ’sitting around and moping while your kids are with the other parent’ isn’t the only alternative for solo-dads, I Twittered my day and then blogged about here it a few days later.

Here’s a snippet (read the full post here):

It reminded me of the Zen saying…

“Before enlightenment, carrying water, chopping wood. After enlightenment, carry water, chopping wood.”

What Did I Do?

I made coffee, drank it from my favorite Beatles mug, read email, read blogs, wrote, did some light housework, washed dishes, made good headway in the assault on Mt. Laundry (received some laundry-related reassurance and encouragement from Pam), watched The Bourne Ultimatum..again , cooked some tasty chicken breasts, steamed broccoli and fingerling potatoes (note to self, send Garlic Crusted Chicken recipe to Rebecca M), got a killer cheese-biscuit recipe on Twitter from Jen, received a dinner invitation to munch on some of those cheese-biscuits from Sue C (which I couldn’t make because…well…she lives in Maine), had an after dinner drink at a seaside pub at the beach, strolled along the ocean, witnessed an amazing sunset (is it totally obvious why I live here), and settled in to watch some TV with a cup of black pekoe tea and a splash of half-n-half…all the while Tweeting updates to those tracking my day while engaging in their own celebrations (or lack thereof in Canada and the UK).

While rereading that post today…

I was struck how different my life is today vs. a year ago.

LE has really stepped into this teen years in a big way; he’s grown a foot, slimmed down dramatically in the process, and his voice is deeper every day.
My personal life has also become more meaningful. I have more friends, I have a great dog that keeps me busy and active, and I have a beautiful new granddaughter!
My job is more meaningful and challenging. A corporate reorganization left me with new bosses and less staff. But it’s forced me to stretch and carry more responsibility and it’s working out well.
My sense of family is taking on a new meaning as well. As my parents age, I can see a time when I will be become the unofficial patriarch of the family. Following my dad’s example of unconditional love and acceptance is a goal I will gladly adopt.

This Year’s Celebration…

…Included my son, Ben and his lovely bride, Crystal, my parents, and LE. We convened here at the beach bungalow for an ocean-side Thanksgiving.

After some appetizers (cheese plate, various crackers, chips and dip/salsa, Naan flatbread, and other goodies…we dined on my ham (I’m saving the turkey for Christmas), steamed green beans and butternut quash cubes, Crystal’s incredibly creamy mashed potatoes and her tasty stuffing (LE asked for the recipe), Ben’s dinner rolls (homemade), and my mom’s sweet potatoes.

We took a beach walk with Buddy leading the way. Afterward, we slice up the pies -fresh blueberry, pumpkin, and french apple a la mode- while Ben and LE dived into Marianne’s Chocolate ice cream. Coffee and Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider flowed as did the Petitte Syrah!

Later we telephoned Bethany and David in Alaska and collectively ‘on speaker’ wished them a Happy Thanksgiving and for while they were with us as well.

Today, my son Jeremy and his girlfriend Perrine are come to stay. It will be good to see them as well.

A Solo-Dad Birthday

Solo-Dad — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 04:11:27 +0000

Today is my 52nd birthday.

I was born at 8:00 a.m. in Savannah, Tennessee. In 1957 I was the first baby delivered via Caesarian section in Hardin County General Hospital.

I’m told my maternal grandfather raised hell and barged into the nursery because I was crying. In those days, dads didn’t witness their children’s birth and my dad spent the time it took to deliver me in the waiting room.

But here I am fifty-two years later, a father of four, solo-dad to one, and GrandDad to the cutest little thing ever born in Alaska…Jessica Riley Anderson.

Birthdays are a useful occasion to reflect on life, but this year with Thanksgiving just around the corner, I’m going look forward and list some of the things in life that I’m grateful for instead.

I’m Grateful

I’m grateful for each of my kids: Bethany Sara, Benjamin Barry, Jeremy Augustin, and Justin Elijah. Each is unique and all are loved beyond measure. They bring me joy simply by having them in my life.
I’m grateful that my parents are still with us having just celebrated their 58th wedding anniversary in August. They taught me to love unconditionally as well as how to give. Their example of unselfish love is one of the truest compasses I’ve ever encountered.
I’m grateful for other that show me affection: friends, coworkers, people I meet from day to day that I may never see again. They all make my life an interesting and rich space to occupy.
I’m grateful for my dog, Buddy. Today we took him to the local dog park and he was in doggie heaven. He is keeping us on our toes and in our running shoes, too!
I’m grateful for the many people who impact my daily life: other solo-parent bloggers like Rachel Sarah, David Mott, as well as Ian and Dr. Leah. Each of these bloggers are single parents who pace the same issue and challenges as people like me and yet they find time to blog about it each day; something I have not been able to do for longer than a few weeks at a time. Each provide the encouragement, advice, humor, and inspiration guys like me need to keep going.
Finally, I’m grateful for every single blunder, mistake, transgression, illegal act (yes, there are some), and dumb thing I have ever done. These little side journeys into the Land of Oopsy have made me a stronger, more resilient person. They have been my teachers and coaches each providing me with the motivation necessary to get back up again.

Today LE and I spent the better part of the day volunteering. Each year my employer foots the bill for a Thanksgiving dinner for approximately 200 seniors. Employees volunteer as servers, cooks, and even Santa Clause and host a dinner of turkey, mashed potatoes, vegetables, and all the trimmings.

We had a great time serving and just chatting with various seniors. It’s sobering to think that it wasn’t too long ago that these very people were my teachers, my employers, my friends’ parents in the larger sense.

It was also nice to see LE learning how to do a (half) day’s work and not expect anything in return save the satisfaction of having given a great experience to others who deserve it.

Here’s a quick video of us ‘unwinding’ with a Klondike Bar and just watch what happens:

I’ve had a wonderful birthday and I think I’m going to close it our with either a glass of wine or a cuppa.

Can’t decide which!

Solo-Dad - 1 Guy's Perspective on Single Parenting

The Paralysis of Choice

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Initial Thoughts on My Amazon Kindle 2

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Finding the Balance Is Hard Work

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Stress: It’s How You Respond That Counts

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Being Single – 7 Years In

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Parenting a Teen: LE Grows Up…But Into What?

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Goal Setting for 2010

Let’s flesh these out a bit more, shall we?

My Three Goals for 2010

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Solo-Dad & Newton’s Apple

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Thanksgiving Flashback – A Year Ago on Solo-Dad

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A Solo-Dad Birthday

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