According to a recent study, moving more than three times can increase feelings of isolation among kids.
A study recently published in the Archives of Psychiatry, summarized here in an article on MSNBC.com, states that:
“… kids aged 11 to 17 were twice as likely to attempt suicide if their families moved three or more times compared to those who had never moved.”
Three States in Four Years
By the time I was 6 years old, my family had lived in Alabama, New Hampshire, and Texas.
Although I was born in Tennessee, I wouldn’t say we resided there – I was born in my parents’ home town of Savannah, Tennessee while my dad was being discharged from the Air Force and training for his new civilian job in Huntsville, Alabama.
I don’t remember moving to New Hampshire, but I do remember all subsequent moves. Here’s the chronology of my moves:
- Age 1 – in 1958 we moved to Huntsville, Alabama.
- Age 4 – in 1961 we moved to Manchester, New Hampshire.
- Age 12 – in 1970 we moved to Pasadena, California.
- Age 12 – we moved 10 miles west to La Canada, California.
- Age 13 – We moved down the street (out of a rented house and into our own).
- Age 20 – my parents moved to Northern California and I stayed in So Cal.
- Age 22 – moved to San Jose to returned to community college.
- Age 23 – moved to Riverside, California to attend university.
- Age 27 – moved to San Francisco to attend medical school.
- Age 31 – moved to San Jose after medical school.
- Age 47 – moved to Rio Del Mar, California where I presently live.
Never Traumatic
Moving was never traumatic for me. For my sister, it seemed to be. At 4 years my senior, her friendships and other relationships were more advance than mine and so she felt the isolation the above study cites as common in kids who move frequently. To my knowledge, she’s never attempted suicide.
But for me, I didn’t feel anything different. Perhaps moving made me more of a loner or maybe that is simply my personality.
I know -beyond any doubt- that I am an introvert.
- I’m drawn to solitary pastimes and activities.
- Being ‘on’ in presentations or parties drains my energy.
- Regrouping and recharging alone enhances it.
Was it the frequent moves that influenced my introverted nature or was I destined to be this way regardless of the moves?
What About You?
Have you moved frequently and felt the isolation that the study cites? Did your moves influence your personality as an adult? Or are you one of those adults who never moved and can walk down the street to your best friend’s house from elementary school?
Share your experiences my leaving a comment, won’t you?
Interesting post! I had a stable living situation growing up. I returned to “the old neighborhood” after my ex deserted the kids and I finished grad school. My “grown-up babies” characterize “the old neighborhood” as a great place in which to grow up, but not somewhere they want to settle.
As a psychologist, I’d just like to add that statistics don’t predict the behavior of individuals. These research findings offer pause for thought if moving with your kids is simply to indulge your wanderlust. That’s hardly likely in these perilous economic times.
If you find you do need to move for job reasons, do take advantage of the resources offered by your kids’ school and other community support. These resources were typically not available to many of the individuals for whom frequent moving precipitated a mental health crisis.
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I have not moved more than 10 miles from my two childhood homes. My parents recently moved approx 300 miles and I at 39 had a bit of separation anxiety.
It has a profound effect on my life and my childrens. I am terrified to move too far from my familiar surroundings.
My daughter left recently for a summer job in another state the first week for her was rough, but she is adjusting well.
I will say that by staying in the home they had known their whole lives, made the divorce easier on my kids. With the stability of their friendships.
Great subject
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Dr Leah – Thanks for adding your perspective on this. I’ve often thought about what the consequences of moving might be on LE as he grows up. I know he now has friendships that I wouldn’t want to sever by taking another job. Stability is one of the most important aspects of life I’d like to demonstrate for him.
Notasoccermom – My parents grew up within 10 miles of their birthplace and still have friendships with people they went to high school with. Via Facebook I’m connecting with old friends after many years, but it doesn’t replace the experience of actually remaining nearby and growing together. I envy you that.