Show me a single parent household and I’ll show you a household in need of more income.
Now, I realize there are exceptions to this bold statement, but I’m confident that 8 out of 10 single parent households don’t realize the kind of income they need to provide a lifestyle that ensures:
- Bills are paid on time.
- Kids aren’t left alone to care for themselves.
- Lack of money isn’t what drives a parent’s thinking.
- Vacations actually happen every year.
- Emergency expenditures don’t automatically trigger financial ruin.
This post is a mix of personal rant (mainly against the attitude I’ve allowed to inhibit my income growth) and part vision for the future of Solo-Dad (and yours as well).
Since the Great Solo-Dad Blog Meltdown about a month ago, I’ve been looking at Solo-Dad.com in terms of its mission and asking myself these questions:
- What’s the value that Solo-Dad brings to readers?
- What are the most prevalent needs among solo-parent families and what can I do to help meet them?
- What could Solo-Dad adopt as a secondary focus in order to help other solo-parents?
- What’s the best way to make this a reality?
Like I said, this post is personal.
I’ve realized over the last year that I hold many false beliefs about myself and mainly about money. I grew up in a middle class family where my dad worked and mother was home with the kids for her entire life.
This was good and bad. It was good because I never came home to an empty house. Sure, there were times when mom was out running an errand or sick and in the hospital. But for the most part, my brother, sister, and I weren’t left to fend for ourselves or police our own homework completion.
It was bad because there were limitations to what a single wage earner income could provide. Although my father is one of the smartest people I’ve ever known, he didn’t earn a college degree.
And although he worked in aerospace and helped put Niel Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin on the moon in 1969, he was never paid what he truly needed to earn in order to provide his family with the lifestyle he envisioned. And this brings me to the topic of stability.
The link between money and family stability.
In my experience, the more discretionary income I have at the end of the month, the more content I feel.
There are those that will say, “Oh Barry, how can you be so superficial? Having LE in your life should be more than enough to feel content.”
Yes, I would agree in theory. But LE doesn’t pay the bills or save for his college education. He doesn’t have to find the money for a new tire or a nice dinner. He simply doesn’t have to think about these things like I do.
More money leads to greater contentment.
I’ve never met a single parent who thought otherwise. The more money we have, the better able we are as solo-parents to provide for our kids. Being in this position leads to more contentment.
When parents are more content, their children are more content as well. Kids have an uncanny ability to soak up our emotional states. They know when we’re worried or anxious. It’s nearly impossible not to telegraph our emotional states.
If my logic holds up, it stands that one way to ensure our families are more content and happier is to increase the amount of discretionary income in our lives.
The concept of enough.
Rather than a quest for unspecified riches, there are limits to what’s possible for a solo-parent provider to accomplish in life. One of these limits is time. We only have so much time.
The other limitation is the concept of enough. What’s enough for you to achieve that state of financial contentment that translates into a happier and more secure household?
- $10,000 in the bank?
- 50% more than your current income?
- $100K per year?
Different people will have different answers. I firmly believe there is no ‘right’ answer to this question. But, too often, most of us never bother to ask or answer this question.
Solo-Dad’s primary and secondary focus.
The concept of enough not only involves money, but lifestlye choices. It includes what we do for a living as well as the role we play in the lives of others. For me, that includes the readers of Solo-Dad.com.
In determining the focus for Solo-Dad, I’ve realized my experiences in raising 4 kids in various solo-dad existences makes this Solo-Dad’s primary focus.
The secondary focus for Solo-Dad is taking shape and -while still in the fuzzy-vision stage- it involves helping other solo-parents make more money.
Fuzzy-vision means I haven’t decided how to make this a reality. There are many options, but I want to undertake only those that have the potential to provide real value to readers without resorting to hawking snake oil or making money simply by people clicking on ads.
Your Thoughts?
If you’re interested in or turned off my this topic, why not tell me about it? Feedback in any form is always useful.
Hi Barry, noticed you were following me on twitter, and thought I would take a look at your stuff.
I really like what your doing… or what you’re saying I should say. I understand the concept of “enough” all too well. I don’t thin people realize the obstacles that truly caring single dads face in earning a decent living.
During the last couple of years, I have been on an auto-pilot type course of mediocrity and just barely making it with my writing.
Nevertheless, I finally come to realization that I have to provide more for my little girl AND myself. I am just now really exploring the many ways I might be able to accomplish this.
Before I became a father at age 40, I was always able to hustle with the best of them; however, nowadays I am lucky to be able to get in five or six hours of actual work on any given day. My little one requires, and deserves, the majority of my time.
I have earned a good living all of my like; but, never really been able to save anything. For this, I am not only full of regret, but shame as well I am ashamed of the fact I don’t have more to give to my daughter and don’t have them means – to simply pick and and fly off with her for a few day and show her the world (she so loves to ride in the car and look at the world outside).
I suppose I am a fairly intelligent guy, and I suppose that has been part of the problem. I have always tended not to give people enough credit for their ideas or thoughts. I mean, if I didn’t think of it, then how could it be a good idea.
Well, age has taught me more than I realized, and I am finally beginning to show some maturity, I guess.
I know I rambling, and I apologize. I guess what I really want to say is – if you have a few ideas that you can share to help other single dads earn more money, then by all means please do so. I am all ears, or eyes.
Jeff – Thanks for your comments. I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to write so much.
As my ‘fuzzy vision’ in this area becomes clearer, I’ll be sure to post what I believe will help single parents earn more. It’s something I feel very strongly about. Thanks again for commenting.