Like the other other night when my Ex calls to ask me if I could switch a scheduled overnight stay for the next night.

Normally not a big deal except that I’d made plans around the weekly overnight that LE has with his mom.

The plans involved a guest dropping by.  No,  not an overnight guest, but one that I’d rather keep separate from my life as a single parent.

I called her and she was flexible with rescheduling. So everything worked out. But being flexible has limits.

Flexibility’s Limits

Ever encountered your limit with being flexible? I have and they’re called breaking points. For me, it’s the point when I’ve run out of both patience and the willingness to bend any further.

And it happens more frequently where the Ex is concerned. I’ve bent over backwards (no, not literally) to accommodate her on hundreds of occasions when her work schedule (which is as fluid as water) necessitated the rescheduling of weekend visits, mid-week overnights, and holidays.

To be fair, and in the spirit of full disclosure, she has yet to say no to keeping LE when I’ve had to travel on business.  Still, there are limits to what I believe is an over-the-top effort on my part to accommodate her ever-changing schedule.

Flexibility’s ROI

There should be, in my opinion, some sort of return on investment for my flexibility.  The way I see it, ifyou’re flexible in rearranging your life for the sake of someone else’s issues and time constraints, then you should naturally get some back in return. Makes sense, right?

Unfortunately, I get nothing back other than what I’ve mentioned above.

• I don’t a get a courtesy call telling me that LE is ill and staying home from school.
• She never calls the school to inform them that he’s ill thereby saving him an unexcused absence and the resulting detention.
• I’m not never told that she can’t pick him up from school on her scheduled day until 30 minutes prior to his dismissal time.
• She isn’t capable of  planning anything in advance longer than 24 hours.

Being flexible is one thing. Being taken advantage of is another.

Overrated or Disrespected?

I think being flexible is a positive trait. Further, I think most would agree that flexibility is a desired trait as well. Who wouldn’t want a partner, or Ex partner, who agrees to accommodate our needs?

Is there anyone who disagrees? I don’t think my Ex disagrees at all.   I just think she’s so out of touch with how communication works in the real world that she’s unable to practice being flexible in her own life.

Happy Endings?

What would a happy ending look like? Perhaps my Ex acquires the flexibility she demands from others. But I don’t see that happening.  We’ve been apart for over 7 years and it’s still this way.

It’s kind of like trying to be patient with the world’s most impatient person. No matter how patient you are, they’re never satisfied.

Happy ending here? Nope, don’t think so.